


Flowers in my lungs

by LunarWalker



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Blood, Dark/Suit Saeran gets Hanahaki disease and doesn't wanna admit to why, F/M, Flowers, Hanahaki Disease, Language of Flowers, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 19:28:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20031118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarWalker/pseuds/LunarWalker
Summary: Saeran Choi Week Day 1- Sweets || Flowers*A re-imagining of the events from Day 9 of the Ray route with and angsty twist.





	Flowers in my lungs

**Author's Note:**

> This is a bit of a re-imagining of the events of Day 9 (and a little before) of the Ray route for the first day of Saeran Choi week. Since one of the themes for the first day is Flowers I figured now is the perfect time for this Hanahaki-themed angst-fest. So have fun suffering with me~ ;0

_ Dark Red Carnation- _

_ Deep love and affection _

✿✿✿✿✿

Saeran didn’t quite remember when it had started. He just remembered registering pain in his chest. He’d assumed it was from the elixir and ignored it like he usually did. Then the coughing started. He’d ignored that too, and kept at his work. It soon turned from a random cough here and then to a coughing fit, and he could no longer ignore it. It’d be one thing if it was  _ just _ blood. He knew his body was weak and sick after all, but when he spotted red petals along with the red of his own blood in the light of his computer monitor… That was something he couldn’t ignore.

He had certainly done quite the job of hiding it from everyone. The Savior, and the believers. He’d quickly discovered it was harder to hide it from  _ her _ however. He’d made sure their interactions were as brief as possible. The pull and ache in his chest was excruciating when he was near her, and he used the opportunity to take it out on her. Only to then reach his limit and return to the information room where the coughing fit would take ahold of him again. There was no way he’d let anyone see him like this. No way he’d let  _ her _ see him like this. He couldn’t show any weakness. He would continue to work and do as the Savior instructed of him, despite how difficult it was quickly becoming to breathe properly.

But even after however many times now he’d told himself this, there were still things that he couldn’t ignore. The first, being the annoying recognition of exactly what kind of petal’s he’d been coughing up. Carnations, specifically dark red carnations. Instinctively his mind had brought forth the meaning to those flowers the first time he’d recognized them. The second thing he couldn’t ignore was the fact that every time he’d find himself hunched over in pain hacking up blood and petals either into his hand, a nearby trash can, or into the bathroom toilet, his mind was filled with thoughts of her, of MC. Her smile, and her laugh, and her scent, and just the feeling of her warm presence, and about how all of that was directed towards  _ Ray _ , and then he would feel another round of blood and petals making their way through his lungs and out of his mouth in a violent outburst until his eyes teared up from the mental and physical torture.

But he would continue to ignore it when it was over. He would wipe his mouth and wash it out with water before getting right back to work. He was strong, after all. Too strong to let this weaken him and lead him to failure like Ray.

Despite this he’d found himself in a moment of weakness just earlier that day. He’d temporarily succumbed to the pull of her and the longing to feel the touch of her lips on his like she had done with Ray three days prior. Because of this that damned marshmallow had managed to crawl his way out of the depths of his mind even if was for just a few moments. He didn’t seem to be immune to the disease however considering the coughing had taken over him as soon as he returned to the information room after cowardly running away as usual. The pain had brought Saeran back in front however and he then had to endure the rest of the fit.

Her voice came to his ears then. From the hidden camera he’d installed in her room, he heard the soft cry of his name. Both of his names. And almost out of nowhere his fit ceased. He took a moment then, hunched over in pain above the bathroom toilet and let his mind go blank before rage filled him once more

✿✿✿✿✿

Anger and frustration. Those were the only emotions Saeran allowed to surface at the thought of MC’s upcoming cleansing ceremony. He’d tried to convince the savior to postpone it so he could take the opportunity to attack that damn redhead during his sudden disappearance to no avail. Not being allowed to participate in her cleansing ceremony annoyed him to no end. Those idiotic believers had even dared to try and keep him from her room a second time.

But he had left her room feeling worse than before. He had ran and hid in the garden, only to come face to face with V. Soon after he was hunched over the toilet once more, this time, however, the bowl was filled with elixir-colored bile rather than bloody flowers. His head was a foggy mess, even as he weakly responded to the chatroom with MC. The only thoughts appearing in his mind of MC and freedom.

Soon he managed pushed himself off the floor. His mind screamed at him to move in fear of having to take the elixir again. He felt so tired. Tired of the pain and the sickness. He continued to move on instinct, avoiding the believers that were no doubt searching for him on the Savior’s orders. Saeran didn’t know how long he spent wandering and hiding, but eventually he found himself in front of a familiar door.

As quietly as possible, he opened the door to find MC’s sleeping form. Carefully, he closed the door behind him and moved to lean against the windowsill on the other side of her bed. For a moment, he simply watched the rise and fall of her chest as she slept. But… he wanted to hear her voice, even if it was only just a few words. He couldn’t stop himself from calling out to her, not that he really tried. She awoke and her sleepy voice responded back with the sound of his name. He couldn’t deny the almost painful skip of his heartbeat at the sound. Talking to her like this, it somehow made him feel lighter. He let himself confess to the truth behind his harsh words with a voice so hoarse and weak. His breath was growing shorter and shorter as he spoke and he just felt so… tired…

The ground was suddenly a lot closer, and then came the horrible scratchiness crawling up his throat once more. Saeran saw the blood that now stained the floor as well as the now full red flowers that came along with it before comprehending the hold of MC around him that prevented him from face-planting. He wondered just how fast she must have moved to help him, and why she would bother to help someone so helpless and weak. How could not express those thoughts however and his mouth was still occupied by the coughing. Over the noise of his own heaving he could just barely hear her voice calling out his name. He was pretty used to the feeling of tears falling down his cheeks, however he was pretty sure he was too dehydrated to cry at the moment. Saeran covered his mouth and looked up at MC’s tear-filled eyes.

“Why are you crying?” He managed to ask her.

“Why?! You’re asking me why?! Because you’re killing yourself that’s why! I don’t care what happens to me but I can’t stand the thought of you dying!”

“What does it matter. Besides maybe if I die you’ll get to be with Ray. That’s what you wanted right?”

“No! Saeran you don’t get it… It took me a while to understand it too but… Saeran, you and Ray, you’re one in the same to me. I care about you so much. Weather you’re Ray or Saeran, it doesn’t matter because both of you are a part of the man I love so much! Please understand that I love you so much Saeran!”

“I thought you… only cared about Ray?”

“Of course I care about Ray. But I also care about you, and I know you care about me too because I’ve seen it. And especially now that I’ve seen this. So please believe me when I say that you mean the world to me and I don’t know what I would do if you were gone!”

MC buried her face into Saeran’s shoulder, quickly soaking his suit with her tears. He noticed too things then. The first, was how warm MC’s embrace felt. The second being that he didn’t feel the scratchiness in his throat anymore. Even more than that, he felt like he could breathe again.

**Author's Note:**

> So I’ll admit this felt a tad bit rushed as I wanted to get it out on time and I completely procrastinated. Even with that in mind though I don’t think it came out too bad, but I’ll let you guys be the judge of that.  
Side note: This fic was partially inspired by this image https://78.media.tumblr.com/6ab30bedaa6276f19820e5763a6c6df8/tumblr_pex3li85481vgerozo2_1280.png  
(yes I know there are roses in this picture but the meaning behind the carnations fit with what I was going for so I used them instead)


End file.
